Showing posts with label counseling. Show all posts
Sunday, November 6, 2016
425 Too Many
Today's topic isn't the usual cheerful post that you're accustomed to at the Corner because this morning we recognized All Saints Day in church. It's a time set aside to pray for the families of those who've died this year, that they would find comfort and peace in their grief. They rang a bell for the four members we lost which felt somber and sad.
Before I went to that service, I read this staggering statistic;
in 2014, 425 young people 10 to 14 years of age died by suicide.
This year, one of those was a dear former student of mine.
in 2014, 425 young people 10 to 14 years of age died by suicide.
This year, one of those was a dear former student of mine.
Thinking about that tragedy takes me back to the first time I realized that people died by suicide, when a man from our little farming community who had been a renter upstairs in our home, who had painted the pin striping on our walls, who had been a family friend, shot himself. I was so young and his passing was shrouded in such secrecy that it really messed with me. I couldn't wrap my little heart around why Mr. P would take his life. Maybe it was an accident? I initially hoped that it was a mistake. Then I thought I could have done something, said something, prayed harder, anything, to keep him from killing himself. I worried about his wife and his daughter, who was one of our babysitters. What would their lives be like? I had nightmares about it during which it would happen in our basement instead of his. It was really rough and I had no one to talk to about it.
Because it was a secret.
As if it hadn't really happened.
Even though it had.
Because it was a secret.
As if it hadn't really happened.
Even though it had.
One death by suicide is one too many.
425 seems unfathomable.
425 futures lost.
425 families broken.
425 dads forever changed.
425 mamas who don't think they can go on.
425 communities in shock and despair.
425 seems unfathomable.
425 futures lost.
425 families broken.
425 dads forever changed.
425 mamas who don't think they can go on.
425 communities in shock and despair.
What can we do to release this epidemic from its stronghold?
I can't help but think that talking about mental wellness
is the best place to start. I know that it would have helped me
as I tried to make sense of losing Mr. P all those years ago.
If we could save just one by not keeping silent,
it would be worth it.
Beyond worth it.
Have you ever heard Kevin's story?
He jumped off the Golden Gate bridge in an attempt to take his life.
He says that as soon as he jumped, however,
he didn't want to die.
Instant regret.
He didn't want to go away, he just wanted the pain to go away.
{I can't help but wonder how true that would be for those 425 we're losing every year.}
And now he uses his story of struggle and survival
to encourage people to do whatever it takes,
to build a network of support
so strong
that you never have to suffer with that much emotional pain.
His inspirational message is simply powerful: Recovery happens.
#HopeHelpsHeal
is the best place to start. I know that it would have helped me
as I tried to make sense of losing Mr. P all those years ago.
If we could save just one by not keeping silent,
it would be worth it.
Beyond worth it.
Have you ever heard Kevin's story?
He jumped off the Golden Gate bridge in an attempt to take his life.
He says that as soon as he jumped, however,
he didn't want to die.
Instant regret.
He didn't want to go away, he just wanted the pain to go away.
{I can't help but wonder how true that would be for those 425 we're losing every year.}
And now he uses his story of struggle and survival
to encourage people to do whatever it takes,
to build a network of support
so strong
that you never have to suffer with that much emotional pain.
His inspirational message is simply powerful: Recovery happens.
#HopeHelpsHeal
But it we don't talk about the struggle, recovery may not happen.
Because it stays a secret.
And if we lose hope through the tough times,
lives will continue to be lost.
Precious lives, with promising futures.
For suicide prevention strategies & resources, visit NAMI,
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention,
National Institute of Mental Health
or NASPonline.
And please continue those courageous conversations.
Find a counselor or trusted adult to confide in.
Seek out a Rehab Center if drugs are involved.
Plug in to a support group.
Reach out to a friend or neighbor.
Or call a Suicide Lifeline.
We simply can't keep quiet any longer.
Not when our future is at stake.
Because it stays a secret.
And if we lose hope through the tough times,
lives will continue to be lost.
Precious lives, with promising futures.
For suicide prevention strategies & resources, visit NAMI,
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention,
National Institute of Mental Health
or NASPonline.
And please continue those courageous conversations.
Find a counselor or trusted adult to confide in.
Seek out a Rehab Center if drugs are involved.
Plug in to a support group.
Reach out to a friend or neighbor.
Or call a Suicide Lifeline.
We simply can't keep quiet any longer.
Not when our future is at stake.
Wednesday, November 2, 2016
Inspiring Mindfulness
Today I'm thinking about mindfulness.
About being in the moment.
About savoring every second.
About the power of deep breathing.
You see, chaos has come calling a lot lately;
October tends to be like that.
Lots of planning, lots of running around.
Football games.
Band competitions.
Homecoming Weekend.
Character Counts Week.
Red Ribbon Week.
Fall festivals.
At-risk data collection.
SOCKtober.
Halloween.
But just because chaos invites us in
doesn't mean we have to go, right?
I found myself helping some fifth-grade girls
breathe through their drama today,
and wondered why I don't do more of that for myself.
Breathe.
Just breathe.
And be.
Just be.
I often wake up craving a nap.
To get away.
To relax.
To restore.
And I think it's a wake-up call
to do a better job with mindfulness and self-care.
So in my research, I've found these resources:
***************************
In case you missed my guest post at Free Spirit Press last week on the importance of teaching fairness, click {here} to go there.
And, as an update in our personal journey,
Joshua's high school marching band
qualified as one of the 39 6A bands to march in the
Texas State Marching Band Competition.
So next Tuesday, they'll take their show called
Dot To Dot
to San Antonio to perform in the Alamodome.
As the dots on the field during this year's poetry-in-motion unfold,
engaged spectators are visually inspired with reminders to
Look Forward,
Trust In Something,
Follow Your Heart,
Connect The Dots.
We are so proud of their hard work,
their determination and drive,
their passion and perseverance
in their quest for the best
and we thank the dedicated directors,
the proud and very patient parents,
and the valued volunteers
for giving of their time and talent
to be that village that every child needs.
Good luck, Band.
Thursday, October 20, 2016
The Map
This morning as we were sitting on the window sill before school, one of my new students surprises me with this affirmation:
Mrs. Gruener, you're like my map.
I'd never really thought about being a map before,
so I asked him what he meant.
He said he'd follow me anywhere.
He said that I can help him get where he's going.
He said he doesn't feel so lost when he's with me.
And I almost started crying.
October is kind of crazy for a counselor and this week has been really challenging. I've been assigned a few new jobs and I've been learning some new things, many out of my comfort zone, and all way outside of my skill set. And I'm trying to do some extra stuff, like write a grant for a new program that we want to try. So I've been seriously considering retirement, thinking someone younger could do a better job than I feel like I'm doing. Even my principal has noticed that I've been a little stressed.
And then this Bucket Filler reminds me why I love doing what I do.
I get to be his map even though I'm sometimes as lost as he is.
Maybe more lost.
But blessed beyond measure.
Our high school PALs also serve as a map; check out these new capes
on our super PALs Wall of Fame.
Their superpowers include
empathy,
compassion,
and kindness.
Isn't their artwork strikingly engaging?
They took their tour of our campus this week and they start their visits with their PALees on Monday. We can't wait.
Grandparents can serve as a map, too.
As can mentors.
And teachers.
Coaches.
Parents.
And friends.
Who's your map?
Sunday, September 25, 2016
Big Bucket, Big Sky
Today I'm feeling blessed beyond words, in part because of the best Bucket Filling interaction ever that happened last week, between one of our new third graders and me. He stopped by the window sill where I sit every morning {with my ukulele, surrounded by my band of musical friends} and said,
"Hey, you're getting pretty good at that!"
I responded with, "Wow, thanks. That compliment overflows my bucket!" and, without missing a beat, he pulled what appeared to be an imaginary bucket from his pocket and replied, "Here's a bigger bucket for you."
Perfect timing, too, because I needed that bigger bucket
under the big sky in Montana this week!
So before I get to the point of today's post,
let me share a few character cam shots of the breathtaking beauty.
The fog blankets the terrain as we head into
Custer National Forest,
the birds flit from pillar to post,
and a red fox camouflages against the rocky road.
We crossed over into Wyoming at some point;
and the picturesque scenery gave me pause.
Fall foliage peeking through ...
paints a colorful canvas along the Creek in Red Lodge.
Did I mention that my bucket is overflowing with peace, hope & joy?
And the restorative road trip wasn't even the best part.
Meet Tanya, Julie & Jeri, my three new friends from Billings Public Schools.
If you've been a visitor at the Corner for awhile, you already know Tanya from her guest posts about Empathy in a (Shoe) Box, Being Wendy, Fr(I) Statements and Vision Boards. Well, she got the idea that she'd like for me to come to her district to do some training, so this determined Montana Counselor of the Year wrote a grant last Fall and, voila, in March I got an email from her, asking me to pack my bags. We set my visit for September 22nd, Character Day 2016,
and what a day of character development it was.
I started the morning singing, dancing, laughing and building character with about thirty counselors, principals and administrators, then spent the afternoon doing much of the same with the combined faculties of Highland Elementary and Boulder Elementary. On Thursday night, I got to hang out with about fifty new friends at Family Character Night.
We sang together.
And we talked about the power of that one little word: YET.
As I flashed up this picture from my friend Kristina, whose fifth grade teachers at Whitcomb Elementary made this visual display with the students' SMART goals for the year, I asked the children to share out loud something they can't do or haven't done yet so that we, as a group, could encourage them to keep on growing by chanting the word YET. Engagement and emotion grew as our growth-mindset Padawans shared their authentic answers:
I can't dance ... YET.
I can't bake a cake ... YET.
I can't play the ukulele ... YET.
I haven't found a friend ... YET.
Tears came when the Principal at Boulder Elementary sent me this note and explained that first thing next morning, one of those Padawans was waiting at her door, to share this thank-you treasure:
And, because of your note, Brady, and these kind comments
from workshop participants ~
This is how Professional Development is supposed to be.
I could have listened to you all day.
Just the shot of inspiration I needed.
I loved everything you had to say.
It was very good and really opened my own mind-set.
I learned so much; what a great presentation.
~ my bucket continues to overflow
bigger than Montana's big blue sky.
And the rainbow on the way home, a promise ...
And the rainbow on the way home, a promise ...
that one day my plans (and a plane) would take me back in that direction.
Thank you, Tanya and Billings Education Foundation, for giving me this
once-in-a-lifetime, picture-perfect opportunity.
once-in-a-lifetime, picture-perfect opportunity.
Monday, May 2, 2016
Increase The Dose
It's Mental Health Month and my guest post over at Free Spirit Press focuses on a mind, body, spirit three-pronged approach to mental health and wellness.
 |
| Click the graphic to go read the post. |
What are your go-to strategies to maximize your mental health?
One huge thing for me after the trauma of that head-on collision was finding things to be thankful for, blessings in the burden. Did you know that gratitude can tack on up to seven years of life? Gratitude creates such a win-win because it blesses the giver and the recipient.
This week is Teacher Appreciation Week 2016, so I set out to thank our school staff by putting these little sticky-note pads together for them today.
It made my heart happy to spread a little sunshine.
Yesterday I was blessed by the invitation to give a one-hour keynote about grace at the women's renewal retreat at our church. Committee members made one of these for each of us. Don't you love this? Grace.
To close today, a few reflections to ponder from my research and presentation.
For more from Craig Denison, visit First15.org
 |
| Photo credit: Amy Homa |
 |
| Photo credit: Jennifer Runde |
So I ask you the same question I posed to retreat participants:
How will you increase the dose this week?
Thursday, April 28, 2016
The Un-Prescription For Autism: A Review
Today I'm excited because I finished this book while it is still
I've always had a heart for children with Autism and this comprehensive newcomer, written by Dr. Janet Lintala, the mom of a child with autism, kept me engaged through each and every page in each and every chapter. As far as I could tell, there isn't a pebble that Dr. Lintala left unturned as she walks her readers through everything imaginable to, first and foremost, help ease the physical pains from which children on the spectrum suffer. Dr. Lintala's masterpiece spells out how behavioral and academic issues become easier to navigate once a child's physical issues and concerns are under control.
The book's format is super reader-friendly to get through and use. Dr. Lintala generously shares what has and hasn't worked for her child while she gives suggestions and options for managing the daily ins and outs of helping children with an autism diagnosis. I especially love the "Why I ask?" boxes in Chapter one.
Getting to the why always matters.
There are so many things that I appreciated about this text, but one of the things that stands out is how honest and authentic, at times even blunt, this mom/author/doctor/advocate is. So be warned; you will be reading about BMs and urine and GI function. But the end more than justifies the means as you make your way through this thorough "Natural Approach for a Calmer, Happier, and More Focused Child." Oh, and there's even a chapter for adults on the spectrum.
Here are some related links that might interest you:
If you or a loved one is living with autism, check out this book!
From the Publisher:
The Un-Prescription for Autism
A Natural Approach for a Calmer, Happier, and More Focused Child
A Natural Approach for a Calmer, Happier, and More Focused Child
By Janet Lintala with Martha W. Murphy
Published by AMACOM
Paperback: 304 pages
April 1, 2016
Description
Each year, more than 50,000 U.S. families receive an autism diagnosis. On top of turmoil and worry, they share the same urgent question: What can we do to help our child?
The answers parents find can be contradictory . . . even dangerous. The conventional approach (employed by too many pediatricians) is to medicate difficult behaviors into submission -- suppressing symptoms while leaving underlying health challenges untouched. Surfing the Internet for alternatives just leads to confusion.
Now, Dr. Janet Lintala, founder of the Autism Health center and an autism mom herself, shares the natural protocols used in her practice to dramatically improve the function and well-being of children on the spectrum. Drawing on the latest research developments, as well as personal and clinical experience, she targets the underlying issues (chronic inflammation, oxidative stress, gastrointestinal dysfunction, immune dysregulation) associated with the behavior, bowel, and sleep problems so common to autism.
Correcting these overlooked conditions with digestive enzymes, probiotics, antifungals, and other nonpsychiatric treatments brings transformative results: less pain, less aggression, and a child who is more receptive to behavioral and educational interventions.
While the medical profession is slow to change, autistic kids need help immediately. The Un-Prescription for Autism provides clear explanations, detailed protocols, and examples to help parents act quickly to restore their child's health, self-control, and language -- paving the way for reaching their full potential.
Author Bio: Janet Lintala, author of The Un-Prescription for Autism, founded and heads Autism Health!, which serves children and adults in 12 states. Her advice integrates the clinical expertise of a nonprescription autism practice with the firsthand experience only an autism parent can deliver.
Martha W. Murphy is an award-winning health writer.
Martha W. Murphy is an award-winning health writer.
For more information please visit http://janetlintala.com/ and follow the author on Facebook and Twitter
Reviews
". . . [T]he extraordinary outcomes Dr. Lintala has helped hundreds of patients and their families achieve over the past 10 years is why I am delighted to see her accessible and affordable health support strategies gathered into a book. . . . By reading this book, you can benefit from the lessons learned the hard way by a dedicated autism mom and savvy clinician. . . . Above all, what you'll find here are valuable clinical insights packaged into doable action plans to help your child."
". . . [T]he extraordinary outcomes Dr. Lintala has helped hundreds of patients and their families achieve over the past 10 years is why I am delighted to see her accessible and affordable health support strategies gathered into a book. . . . By reading this book, you can benefit from the lessons learned the hard way by a dedicated autism mom and savvy clinician. . . . Above all, what you'll find here are valuable clinical insights packaged into doable action plans to help your child."
-- From the foreword by Elizabeth Mumper, MD, FAAP; President & CEO, Rimland Center for Integrative Medicine; Former Medical Director, Autism Research Institute
"Amidst a sea of confusing opinions, techniques and advice, this book provides a rare combination of science-based research and practical strategies for parents and professionals. . . . [Dr. Janet] possesses a deep understanding of autism that enables her to cut through the misconceptions and deliver common sense, effective strategies for moving these children toward optimal cognitive, behavioral and physical health. . . . I have witnessed transformations in children with autism that professionals and parents alike thought impossible. Following the clear, concise approaches outlined in this book gives children the best shot at obtaining their maximum potential."
-- Maureen H. McDonnell, BS, RN, Health Editor, WNC Woman Magazine; Former Medical Coordinator, The Imus Ranch for Kids with Cancer; President, Health Education Services, Wellness Workshops, Inc.; Cofounder, Saving Our Kids, Healing Our Planet
Monday, April 18, 2016
Finding Balance
Let's start the week off with an inquiry:
How are you at putting perfectionism in its place
and helping the children in your care find balance?
I was recently tasked with addressing that concern;
click the graphic below to read my guest post at Free Spirit
and add five concrete suggestions for this issue to your toolbox.
Need even more help with balance or with some other situation?
Why not start with the school counselor. He or she stands ready to listen and assist students of all ages and stages through their troubles, difficulties, and conflict as they learn to become independent thinkers and problem solvers themselves.
Oh, and now there's a book to better explain our role. Check out Mrs. Joyce Gives The Best High-Fives by author (and Texas school counselor) Erainna Winnett. It's about a school counselor and some of the strategies she uses to connect with kids. But make no mistake; Mrs. Joyce does a LOT more than just giving the best high fives. In fact, she's a superhero of the caring kind, ready to come to the rescue and provide a safe place and a sounding board for students in distress.
Raymond, who's new to Emerson Elementary, doesn't know Mrs. Joyce yet, so he's not sure what to make of her, until he gets a invitation to go to her office and finds out all about this friendly favorite, that is.
Mrs. Joyce explains her role as the counselor
so gently and eloquently. Check out the book's trailer:
I was especially delighted to find Savvy School Counselor's suggestion in the back of the book that a school counselor (or teacher!) use a Circle Map to introduce yourself and your role to the students at the start of school.
I could also see reading Mrs. Joyce's story as we close out the school year and reflect on all of the time we spent together and all of the leadership skills we sharpened through counseling classes.
High Fives to Erainna {and her illustrator}
for this colorful addition to my counseling collection.
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