The Ugly Duckling

Oh dear, it looks like I took the entire summer off and then some! Literature for building character has been a career-long goal and a life-long experience (begun at birth), so this blog is destined to continue on for the rest of my life - despite any lapses.

I am picking it up on the occasion of my youngest daughter's 30th birthday with the fairy tale about the ugly duckling. In this tale by Hans Christian Anderson, the big egg in mother duck's nest produces a large gray baby duck that does not look like the others. As a result this "duckling" spends the first part of life suffering from taunts and isolation. However, there comes the day when the true swan nature becomes manifest, first to the swan and then to everyone else.

When she was a little girl, my daughter thought of herself in this way. She would notice things about herself such as that she learned to tell time a little later than others (so what! but to her it was a difference...), she loved to write late at night rather than to read like her older sister, and she had the usual ups and downs with friends that all children pass through. While we understood and recognized the beauty of her unique virtues, she had to grow into this realization herself. One evening at the dinner table we were talking about how each child had a metaphor to symbolize their unique process of growth. Beginning with the oldest we settled upon a pearl, an oak, and a lion cub. When we came to the youngest she herself blurted out: "and I am the swan!" We were amazed at the self-awareness. We had known about her struggles to accept herself and we could not believe the wisdom that came flowing forth in her exclamation. She was not even totally aware of how insightful she was being. But it was true - in other areas of her life we could see that she was becoming happy in her own skin. Self worth came not from comparisons but by contentment.

And herein is the lesson from The Ugly Duckling: with patience, ones true nature WILL come out. Like the swan, each child can eventually spread their wings and join their majestic kin who float along the waters, serving as a source of delight for others. Versions of this story abound in anthologies, picture books, and - in those treasures of treasures - classic fairy tale collections. To illustrate the beauty of well-written fairy tales, here are some translated excerpts from Andersen's Danish version in his story published in 1844.

"...The duckling had never seen such beautiful birds, dazzlingly white with long, graceful necks...As the ugly little duckling watched them mount higher and higher up in the air, he felt a strange sensation...When they were out of sight, he dived down to the bottom of the waters, and when he surfaced, he was almost beside himself with excitement. He had no idea who these birds were, nor did he know anything about their destination. Yet they were more precious to him than any birds he had ever known...

...One day, the sun began to shine again, and the larks began to sing. Spring had arrived in all its beauty...Then all at once he decided to try his wings. They whirred much louder then before, and they carried him away swiftly. Almost before he knew it, he found himself in a large garden. The apple trees were in full blossom, and the fragrant lilacs bent their long green branches down on a stream that wound its way across a smooth lawn. It was so lovely here in all the freshness of early spring! From a nearby thicket, three beautiful white swans emerged, ruffling their feathers and floating lightly over the still waters. The duckling recognized the splendid creatures...

...What did he discover in the clear surface beneath him? He saw his own image, and he was no longer a clumsy, gray bird, ugly and unpleasant to look at - no, he was himself a swan!...

...He now felt positively glad to have endured so much hardship and adversity. It helped him appreciate all the happiness and beauty surrounding him...The three great swans swam around the newcomer and stroked his neck with their beaks...

...He felt quite humbled, and he tucked his head under his wing - he himself hardly knew why. He was so very happy, but not a bit proud, for a good heart is never proud."
From the book The Annotated Classic Fairy Tales. Edited by Maria Tatar.

Happy 30th Birthday to my youngest daughter - a beautiful swan!