Showing posts with label conflict. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 22, 2016
The Path To Peace
Today I'm excited because we're having our counseling classes on conflict resolution this week outside on our Peace Labyrinth that former Bales Principal Jay Stailey and his friend Reginald Adams designed for us and helped us paint.
The lesson goes something like this:
First I share this funny and engaging Sesame Street clip,
featuring the late Robin Williams,
to show students what conflict is and what conflict isn't.
Then we watch this clip featuring a common conflict, a fight that ensued between two students after one cheated from another.
Before we head outside to the Labyrinth to role play what happens the next day between Jimmy and Max, we talk about what collaborating using the five steps to problem solving would look like on our conflict-resolution Peace Labyrinth.
It's interesting, because as they predict what the steps are, most of the students want to go straight to a solution. Instead, the steps include:
1. State the problem.
2. State your feelings.
3. State the other person's feelings.
{We're calling this one the empathy stop!}
4. Brainstorm solutions.
5. Choose the best solution.
So we head outside, and role play an easy one first, to review the steps: I want to eat at McDonald's, and the student who volunteers to walk the path with me wants to eat at Chick fil A. Then, we select a volunteer to play Jimmy and a classmate to play Max, and we let them walk the path to peace.
We're so happy even our Labyrinth is smiling!
Friday, January 29, 2016
PPBF: Turn! Turn! Turn!
Today's post will be short and sweet as we wrap up
The Great Kindness Challenge and get ready to celebrate
National School Counseling Week.
Today's PPBF perfectly complements both.
To everything, there is a season ...
Title: Turn! Turn! Turn!
Author: Pete Seeger
Illustrator: Wendy Anderson Halperin
Publisher: Simon and Schuster Children's Publishing
Date: September 1, 2003
Suitable for: age 5 and up
Themes: inspirational, peace, circle of life
Brief Synopsis: Based on the inspiration of Ecclesiastes Chapter 3, this book uses text from the Byrds song Turn!, Turn!, Turn! to explore and enjoy the ways people turn through the pages of the book of life.
Opening page:
Resources:
*Listen to the song on CD, included in the book.
*Have students draw a time line of their lives; challenge them to make it circular rather than linear.
*Encourage students to write and illustrate another line.
A time to ____ , a time to _____ .
What would you add?
Why I like this book: I've always been a fan of that verse from the Ecclesiastes and this song. Then when my friend Ann brought me a copy of the book, I fell in love all over again. Look how pretty it is sitting on my shelf among my angels.
To everything, there is a season ...
The circles on every page are beautifully illustrated to put this poetic text into a peace-filled picture. Such a simple yet important concept to remember, especially as we grieve the good-bye of something special and bounce forward into something new.
This week, some of our students worked with our high school PALs to paint a conflict-resolution peace labyrinth and it reminds me of the circular concept in this book.
To everything, there is a season.
We also hosted singer, songwriter, and expert bucket-filler Red Grammer on the Westwood side. Here he is teaching us to use our lids to keep ourselves happy and safe. Click the picture to see Mrs. Quigley's first-grade students teaching him and our audience the motions they use for his song The Power To Change The World.
And today, we say good-bye to our Principal, Terri, and hello to a new leader, J.T. It's a time of change again at Bales, the perfect time to get quiet and contemplate the circle of life.
Turn, turn, turn.
For more PPBF picks today, turn now to Susanna's blog.
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
Kelso's Choice For Families Review
Today I'm delighted to welcome my friend Heather Salinas back to the Corner on Character to share her reflections on the Kelso's Choice For Families Kit.
*********************
Kelso's Choice for Families is an invaluable tool for equipping children ages two and up with problem-solving and crisis management skills. (The package stated five years and up, but my two and a half year old was able to join in also with the help of older siblings.) We received this kit a few months after Mrs. Gruener re-introduced the concept of the "school" version to the students in my daughter's Intermediate School. The family version is closely modeled after the school version; because of this, my children were already familiar with the language and it became a natural progression into the "home" version.
The materials that come with the kit are very clear, motivating, and adaptable. There is a fun and informative video for families to watch together that explains the program. It includes explanations about what type of problems are considered "big" and "small" and how to successfully manage a conflict. In addition to the DVD there are also supplemental activities, a workbook, reward chart, crafts, posters, and more. It is a very inclusive kit! For my family, watching the video together and starting the program prompted some amazing family conversations about life, family, and faith; it led to some great family bonding moments!
The materials that come with the kit are very clear, motivating, and adaptable. There is a fun and informative video for families to watch together that explains the program. It includes explanations about what type of problems are considered "big" and "small" and how to successfully manage a conflict. In addition to the DVD there are also supplemental activities, a workbook, reward chart, crafts, posters, and more. It is a very inclusive kit! For my family, watching the video together and starting the program prompted some amazing family conversations about life, family, and faith; it led to some great family bonding moments!
Our home currently has seven children under the age of twelve, and in the beginning this kit was utilized multiple times a day! I think the reason the kit worked so well is that there is such rich, complex information broken down into a way children can easily understand and adapt to their own situations. The days following us starting this program, I noticed the children solving their "small" conflicts on their own and directing each other to the chart when a problem came up -- a built-in accountability! The distinct choices given to solve issues in the kit were extremely adaptable to any "small" conflict that came up. I did give my children the freedom to choose a solution from either the "younger" version or the "older" child version once a conflict came up. I could tell my children gained a sense of pride and empowerment to make the choice themselves. As the weeks went on, I noticed a big difference in my children's independence and desire for responsibility.
I would highly recommend this program to families with any number of children, as Kelso's Choice for Families could also be utilized for extended family, friends, sports teams, etc. I strongly believe these same conflict management skills will help my children in future relationships, in the workplace and beyond. We are very thankful to have this kit at home as my children (and their conflicts) grow and change over the next years.
Author’s Note: I am so thankful to Mrs. Gruener for inviting me to review this product! My husband and I have been married for 10 years and have four amazing children (ages 9 to 1), two dogs, three birds, 10 turtles, 11 chickens, and a yard full of wildlife! Our life never stops being interesting!
I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree from Southwestern University in 2002, and a Master of Science Degree in Journalism from Quinnipiac University in 2004. For the last five years I have run my own full-time dog boarding business that I absolutely could not be more blessed by! On a part-time basis, I also edit criminal court transcripts for Harris County.
******************
Thank you, Heather, first and foremost for your friendship, and then for your willingness to share your thoughts, insights and perspective with our readers.
Thursday, September 10, 2015
Kelso's Choice For Families
As many of you know, we have been using Kelso's Choice at school for almost a decade to equip and empower our learners with the skills and confidence to solve their small {bothersome but not threatening} problems on their own.
We've got a special spot set aside in each room at school for
in heavily trafficked areas, we've made the nine problem-solving choices from the Kelso conflict-resolution wheel available as engaging visual displays.
Today I'm over-the-moon to announce that now there's a Kelso kit to support the work of parents, guardians, and caregivers in the home. Introducing ...
I was chatting with Nicole Terzic, Product Development Manager at Cerebellum, and she graciously agreed to give us a little intel
on this new conflict-management empowerment tool for families.
I'm so excited about the new Kelso's Choice For Families parenting kit. Can you tell us about it?
Nicole: Yes, we are very excited about it too! Kelso’s Choice for Families is a fun, easy-to-use kit that will help your young children learn how to solve small, kid-sized problems on their own! It is modeled after the Kelso’s Choice Conflict Management curriculum kit that has been loved by child specialists and educators for over 20 years. In a nutshell, this kit is for parents to use with their young children (recommended for ages 5+) to teach them 1) how to identify a problem as being safe for them to solve on their own and 2) how to select and use one of Kelso the Frog’s nine problem-solving “choices” to bring peace to a situation – all without the intervention of an adult. What parents will see after using the kit is that a problem between siblings will no longer end in tears, physical fighting, or tattling, and children will be equipped to handle internal frustration if a conflict happens between themselves and an adult, like a parent.
Children will also be given tools to handle a BIG problem that must always be taken to a trusted adult to resolve. This kit is also a really effective tool for children with learning or developmental disabilities. The secret to its success with all children is presenting seemingly complex information in an easy, fun, concrete way that young minds can grasp onto.
The Kelso’s Choice for Families kit comes with:
· 1 Workbook with instruction and plenty of crafts. Is accompanied by a CD-Rom with printable materials.
· 1 Reward Chart to encourage your kids to use each of Kelso’s Choices (printed front and back with two different designs)
· 2 Posters of the Choices Wheel, a clear, colorful visual tool to help your child learn each of Kelso’s Choices
· DVD with two short vignettes of real children using Kelso’s Choice to solve common at-home problems
Go {here} to download a free Kelso’s Choice for Families craft. It’s my absolute favorite!
How does this kit differ from and/or complement the Kelso’s Choice Conflict Management curriculum kit that many schools use?
Nicole: The essence of the two kits are the same – and by essence, I mean that the Kelso’s Choice for Families kit will teach the same core values as the Kelso’s Choice Conflict Management curriculum kit. Both kits will teach children the difference between small and Big problems, and will teach children each of Kelso’s nine choices. The difference is HOW the information is taught, and the depth at which the lessons are taught. A home setting is somewhat spontaneous, and instruction happens during sporadic moments of opportunity whereas a curriculum is much more structured, and each lesson follows specific goals. At first glance, it may seem like the home kit is an abbreviated version of the curriculum kit, but the overall method used to instruct the children is very specific to the respective settings.
Why parenting?
Nicole: For years we’ve been getting requests from parents to come out with a Kelso’s Choice kit that was specific to their needs, and at a price point that they could afford. Parents would find out about Kelso’s Choice from their children who learned it in their classrooms, or school counselors and teachers (who were also parents) would bring Kelso’s Choice lessons they learned on the job into their homes. But there was never a comprehensive resource to bring the Kelso’s Choice lessons into the home – until now!
Plus, knowing how to solve small problems is not at all a school-specific skill. It affects almost every aspect of a person’s life, in all stages of their lives, and what parent wouldn’t want to help their child along in learning how to navigate that aspect of the world?
Why now?
Nicole: We always knew we wanted to create a kit specifically for families, but it took a while to figure out how to properly execute it. The authors, Diane Lee and Barbara Clark, have a very high standard for the Kelso resources, and wanted to make sure it was clear, had quick instruction, and would be effective in a completely different environment than that of a classroom.
One of the biggest challenges was to make sure that the instruction was clear enough for any parent or guardian to teach, without having to have professional training. Part of that process was having parents without any prior experience with Kelso’s Choice review the workbook of lessons and activities. We had to really make sure we weren’t using language that was foreign to someone outside of the education profession, and we had to make sure there was clear value in every activity we included in the book.
After we felt confident in being able to effectively translate a full curriculum into a quick, yet comprehensive tool for home, we had to figure out how to make it affordable, which was its own challenge. But after years of having a home kit on our wish list, we were finally able to create something we know lives up to the Kelso standard of quality, and one that we know will live up to parents’ expectations!
How do you anticipate this product helping or changing families?
Nicole: I’ve spoken to several school counselors and teachers over the years and the feedback I always get is that the Kelso’s Choice methodology works to significantly reduce tattling and conflict among children, as well as improve communication skills and build the confidence in children to resolve small problems. Friends end up having better friendships, children are able to move on from conflicts quicker – making more time for the important stuff in life - and adults get to see children become more independent. These have all been consistent results from children learning Kelso’s Choice. Plus, I also know that kids flat out, unequivocally LOVE Kelso the Frog and are so responsive to his lessons. I think parents are going to have no problem getting children excited about learning Kelso’s Choice, because, let’s face it, that’s half the battle. The rock-solid methodology that Diane Lee and Barbara Clark have created will be a sure-fire way for kids to be problem solvers on their own in no time! I really, truly think this kit will make a big, positive impact on families' lives!
I know you're always creating. Can you give us a sneak peek at what's next?
Nicole: We don’t have any immediate plans for new Kelso resources, but we always love to hear what our customers and followers want. We take your feedback very seriously! Please leave a comment on this blog, on our Facebook page or email us (kelsoschoice@cerebellum.com) with suggestions. We’ll keep a lookout!
Thank you, Nicole. We appreciate you.
And now, more hoppy news; we're giving away a
Kelso's Choice for Families kit to one lucky reader!
Enter now for your chance to win; then check back here
on Friday, September 25th, to see if it's you!
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Friday, May 15, 2015
PPBF: Nobody!
Today I'm delighted to feature this thought-provoking newcomer
from our friends at Free Spirit Publishing.
Title: Nobody!
Author: Erin Frankel
Illustrator: Paula Heaphy
Publisher: Free Spirit Publishing
Date: April 28, 2015
Suitable for: ages 5 - 9
Realistic Fiction
Themes: conflict, bullying behaviors, problem solving
Brief synopsis: A boy in Thomas' school is behaving in such a way that it makes Thomas feel like a nobody. With the necessary help and support from family, friends, and trust adults, Thomas finds that he can feel like somebody again.
Opening page: I used to like school. But that was before somebody decided to make my life miserable.
{Excerpt from Nobody! by Erin Frankel and illustrated by Paula Heaphy, copyright � 2015. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc., Minneapolis, MN; 800-735-7323; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.}
Resources:
Visit the Free Spirit page to download the Leader's Guide.
Read a five-star review at Hall Ways.
Watch the Conscious Discipline clip Bullying Road Signs.
Compare and contrast with these titles that also have
an anti-bullying theme:
Alley Oops by Janice Levy, Band-AidChicken by Becky Hinton, Billy Bully by Ana Galan, BirdChild by Nan Forler, Carla�sSandwich by Debbie Herman, Don�t Laugh at Me by Steven Seskin, Hey Little Ant by Phillip & Hannah Hoose, JungleBullies by Steven Kroll, Juice Box Bully by Maria Dismondy, MySecret Bully by Trudy Ludwig, One by Kathryn Otoshi, Say Something by Peggy Moss, Simon�sHook by Karen Gedig Burnett, Trouble Talk by Trudy Ludwig, You�reMean, Lily Jean by Frieda Wishinski
Why I like this book: If we don't talk about bullying behaviors or, worse, if we turn a blind eye, then the problem grows and children suffer. Their families suffer. We all suffer. Books like Nobody! help create an awareness of the devastating damage that even just one child's mean thoughts, words and deeds can do to someone's heart, mind and soul. Children deserve to feel safe at school, to like school, to thrive in school, so first and foremost, we must address it.
This 44-page social story is very real.
It approaches a sensitive subject with transparency and grace.
But the text doesn't leave us with a problem;
it offers up plausible solutions like thought-switching.
In the back, there are several pages dedicated to comprehending, processing, analyzing and reflecting. There are also two pages for caregivers to help readers unpack the details and understand the implications.
Use this gem to elevate empathy by stopping on every page to find out what your students would do, using questions like this:
What does Thomas want? How can you tell?
What would you need if you were Thomas?
If you were Patrick or Jay, what would you do differently?
What might it be like to be Kyle, the boy with bullying behaviors?
What would you want/need if you were he?
Have you ever felt like a Nobody?
What did you do?
Have you ever been the child with bullying behaviors?
Who helped you turn those behaviors around?
For more anti-bullying resources, visit
For more anti-bullying resources, visit
Dr. Michele Borba: The Essential 6 Rs of Bullying Prevention
Free Spirit Press: A Leader's Guide to Good-bye Bully Machine
Author Trudy Ludwig's Bullying Basics
Huffington Post: On Bullying
Thank you, Kid Prez and Soul Pancake, for this reminder:
Amen!
Check out this book, then go to Susanna's blog
for today's other PPBF picks.
Monday, June 2, 2014
The Escalation of Complications
The worst thing a story can be is boring. A dull tale, whatever the genre, whatever the length, will be a hard sell no matter how well written.
The most common advice for making a story more interesting is to increase the conflict.
More problems, sharper tension, higher stakes. The harder you make life for you main character, the greater the interest in how they�re going to reach their goal.
This isn�t particularly revolutionary information. Both as readers and as people we know that the most interesting stories are the ones where people face the greatest adversities, so it stands to reason that the tougher you make things the better.
However, while it�s pretty clear more conflict is a good idea, it isn�t always obvious how you go about this. If you just throw everything you can think of at the protagonist it can feel unrealistic and melodramatic. Random events overwhelming a character can also overwhelm the story and shift the tone in a direction you might not have intended. So how do you make life worse for your protagonist in an organic manner?
It should be noted that it�s totally possible to get away with dumping a bunch of problems on your characters. The kind of story where the hero loses his job, his wife leaves him and he gets accused of murder... and then the real murderer tries to kill him, the cops put out a shoot on sight order and he eats a poisonous mushroom and has 24 hours to live, can be an entertaining read.
Even the most cheesy soap operas manage to draw an audience; in fact the endless stream of outrageous and improbable predicaments�she�s pregnant, her evil twin is out to get her, she�s in love with a werewolf, end of episode 1�are what keep them engrossed and coming back for more.
The power of conflict to hold a reader�s interest shouldn�t be underestimated. No matter how you complicate things for your character as long as they�re fighting to overcome the obstacles they find in their path, chances are people are going to want to know what happens next.
But there are two things to remember here. First, how you complicate things will affect how the reader judges the story. People might watch soap operas avidly, but few consider them to be high quality writing.
And second, the source of turmoil in a character�s life will inform the reader�s view of that character. Because a fictional character is known by a limited amount of information�we only know them from what happens to them in the story and what they do about it�they are closely linked to the plot. Plot and character become inseparable.
If you have a character who you see as strong, happy, normal, and they suffer a series of mishaps through no fault of their own�they�re in a car crash, they lose their memory, they find themselves in the middle of a bank robbery�whatever you considered the psychological set up of the character can easily be hijacked by the plot. In the above case the character could be seen as a hapless victim of circumstance, someone who can�t put a foot right. Which is fine if you�re writing Mr Bean, but perhaps not if you were hoping to create something more sophisticated or measured.
You definitely want more conflict, but you also want to retain control of how that informs the overall tone of the story and of your main character. And one of the ways you can do that is to consider the source of the problems your character encounters.
If they come from people the main character already has a relationship with and you establish that relationship, then you will have far greater control of how things are perceived.
If, for example, you have a bank manager tell your character he�s has one week to pay back a loan or his house will be forfeit, then having an earlier scene with those two characters (could be about a related matter or something else entirely) will give you a chance to set the tone, and that tone will still be there when the bank manager drops his bombshell later.
Even if the relationship is obvious�our hero comes home to find his wife in bed with another man�then even though clearly the husband and wife know each other, the reader doesn�t know what kind of relationship they have. An earlier scene with those characters will again allow you to choose how they end up being perceived.
Consider, if I start my story with our hero walking in on his wife in flagrante delicto then the situation governs how you see the character. You know nothing about him other than he�s been cheated on, betrayed, fooled. That will shape your view of him.
But if there�s an earlier scene between husband and wife where he�s sarcastic and dismissive about her job, then will you feel the same when he catches her cheating?
What if the earlier scene is him beating out the other guy at work for a promotion? Or what if he helps the guy out of a fix at work? Or perhaps the guy is his boss and we�ve just seen our man steal important papers from the safe in the boss�s office.
In each case the relationship we establish will be the primary factor in how we see the character, not the events he is faced with.
Now consider if you have an earlier scene to establish the main character that has nothing to do with the problem he later faces. Our hero is a cop taking down drug dealers. Gun fight, car chase, arrest. Then he comes home to find his wife in bed with another guy.
Even though you�ve worked hard to show him as a man of action, when he walks into the bedroom the situation has a pretty good chance of overwhelming all that careful work.
He�s a tough guy at work, but really he has no idea what�s going on at home and is a bit of a stooge. Which is fine if that�s the story you want to tell, but the important things is to have control, to be able to tell the story you choose to tell.
If you don�t want the situation to decide the way a character is perceived then taking a step back and shaping the source of the problem will help you do that.
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