Showing posts with label reflections. Show all posts

Sunday, October 2, 2016

How Long Will It Matter?

Posted by Amazing People, on 8:00 AM
It has been about a year or so since one of my former students reached out to me in a private message on Facebook. Now working at a neighboring school with a friend of mine, she'd seen my name pop up and wondered if that could be the Miss Natzke who worked at Friendswood High School all of those years ago. She was fourteen when we first met, a freshman in high school, and I'd just turned twenty five, a third-year teacher and brand-new coach, fresh out of coaching clinic trying to make a go of it on the volleyball court. 

It made my heart happy to hear from her. I remembered her well, not so much because I stepped into her story but because her mom stepped into mine. I credit her mom with helping me reconnect spiritually during a time in my life when I wasn't being spiritually fed. As I reflect, it was bold, out-of-the-box thinking to invite your daughter's young teacher and coach to church.

Then, a month or so ago, an inquiry: Would I have some time on September 30th for a visit? Without hesitation, I said, "Absolutely!" I thought it'd be super fun to see her again, to show her around her old stomping ground as she'd attended Westwood during her formative years, and to meet the amazing adult, teacher, mom that she has become. 

What a treasured gift it was to see her again; 
does it sound weird to say I wanted to keep her?


It has been thirty years.
Let that soak in.
Thirty years.
In a way, it feels just like yesterday.
But truly, it was a lifetime ago.

Here's the coolest part.
She doesn't remember me for the awesome handouts she completed in Spanish class. She doesn't necessarily remember the engaging games we played as we conjugated verbs and acquired vocabulary. She doesn't even remember our win-loss record on the court {though I do remember her hustle as a setter!}. 

She shared that what she remembers is that 
"you had a dynamic, caring personality with a love of life."

And she told me that it was refreshing to be in my presence.
That is music to my soul ... 
and it makes me want to care more.
To connect more.
To love more.
To reach out more.

It makes me hope that I've created those caring connections
more often than not.
Because I know that not all of my students
have these joyful memories of our interactions.
It makes me cognizant of what really matters.
And it makes me want to ripple that out
as far and wide as I possibly can.
Until I can't anymore.


So today, a wish for a Happy October, and a challenge:

What will you do today, this week, this month
 that really matters?
How will you know it really matters?
And for how long will it really matter?

Oh, and do a former teacher or mentor a favor;
reconnect with them, to let them know
that who they are
and what they did for you
really matters.

Thank you, Kelly, for finding joy in the journey
and bringing it back to share it with me all those years later.
Your visit really mattered to me.






Tuesday, September 20, 2016

May It Always Be Personal

Posted by Amazing People, on 2:00 PM
Today, lots of questions as we traverse the tricky terrain 
around these three little words:
It's not personal.
I've heard this said a handful of times over the years and haven't ever really thought much about it, until recently, when I read this thought-provoking post.

 So I'm reflecting, trying to better understand
what people mean when they use those three little words 
and, borrowing from a few of my own personal experiences, wondering . . . 

If your teenager snubs you, is it personal?
If you lose your job due to budget cuts, is it personal?
If a teacher is curt with your child, is it personal?
If someone betrays your trust, is it personal?
If the person in line before you jams the copier, is it personal?
If a drunk driver hits you, is it personal?

I'm taking a huge leap here, and it may seem overly simplified or sensitive 
{and maybe even slightly insecure?}, 
but isn't anything that affects humankind kind of personal?


Because what we think is where behavior starts; 
our thoughts determine 
how we feel
and that, in turn, determines 
how we treat others.

Need help turning a thought like that around? Check out the strategy that author Byron Katie teaches in her tale Tiger Tiger, Is It True?. 

And though I'm still not totally sure if there truly is a time 
in which that cliche rings true, what I fervently hope is this:

For those of us in the people business . . .


may it always be personal.






Sunday, August 21, 2016

Retiring Reflections

Posted by Amazing People, on 3:00 PM
It was on Mothers Day, about three and a half months ago, that I decided it was time to retire from blogging. And while I did have a wonderful break from it, I have missed the reflection piece that journaling my thoughts and sharing them online offers. I've also missed the creative outlet I get from the writing process. So, I've decided to come out of my self-imposed retirement {or maybe it was just a summer break} as I start my 33rd year in public education. I was invited to inspire character educators at six different venues this summer, so I am
 re-energized and ready to grow.

One of my workshop participants made this for her office
from something I said over and over again this summer.



Thank you, Toni, for bringing my reflection to life.

My first share? A growth-mindset song I wrote this morning:


Now I just need to get really good at it on my ukulele!
What would you say if you were to write verse two?

We were blessed to hear Liz Murray last week; 
here's what she said that stuck.


I know, right? Let that power-bite sink in for a bit.

I actually got kind of carried away tweeting her thoughts as she shared:


She added that, "People will grow into the conversation you create around them." So today I'm thinking about how her words of wisdom will change me, 
help make me better at what I do. 

For now, I'm gearing up to cartwheel on in to the new school year tomorrow. Thank you, Jennifer Runde, for capturing passion in this photo.


If you can't stop the feeling, you must experience {this}, 
courtesy of our FISD Leadership Team.

Happy new year; it feels good to be back at the Corner. 






Saturday, May 7, 2016

Reflections On Expiration Dates

Posted by Amazing People, on 11:00 AM
To everything, there is a season ... 


these freshly-cut flowers were planted and grown
for this beautiful Mother's Day bouquet
but, after they've served their purpose,
to celebrate our Mom and let her know that she is loved,
they will start to 
wilt,
dry up, 
turn brown, 
and fade away.
That's how life works; 
everything has an expiration date.

So today, as I think about expiration dates,
it's time to thank you, dear readers, for
sticking with me at The Corner on Character
for the five years that I've spent 
sharing, 
connecting 
and growing with you through my reflections.
Today's post is #1318.
Nothing really special about that number, 
except that evidently I've had a lot to say
and a lot of resources to share.
Some of the links have expired already;
please accept my apologies for those.

I started this journey five years ago, as our daughter was graduating from HS and leaving the nest for her five-year Architecture program, so it seems to fit that I'd feel the pull to retire from blogging just as she graduates from UT.



Doors open ... 
and then they close.
Expiration dates make room for born-on dates
because endings spark new beginnings.


So today, I'm grateful, 
that you have come along with me
during this season of online reflection.
Thank you for your kind comments over the years.
Thank you for your affirmations during the happy 
and support during the sad.
Thank you for connecting and sharing life with me.

It has been so much fun to create content that I thought
readers like you might enjoy, and I'm going to miss thinking,
I can blog about this!
But right now feels like a good time to move on,
like my blogging expiration date has arrived,
so I'm signing off.
Joyfully.
Satisfied.
With no regrets.

I invite you to go back through those
thirteen hundred and eighteen posts now and again
for some inspiration or motivation.
Who knows? You just may hear or feel something again
{or for the first time} just when you need it the most.

I still plan to update my Books That Teach list
as I come across new titles that you simply must check out.

I'll also keep up my book's FB page and my Pinterest pages, so feel free to check in with me there. I always love hearing what you're up to.

If you want to meet up in real life,
come to one of my workshops or keynotes,
or schedule a school visit in Texas at Bales Intermediate.
If you're interested in hosting a character training,
shoot me an email or give me a call.
I'm super excited about an upcoming Montana trip to connect with a certain counselor
who wrote my blog's all-time most popular guest post: Empathy in a (Shoe) Box.

To everything, there is a season;
may you be blessed as you bless.






Saturday, April 9, 2016

Limiting Mobility

Posted by Amazing People, on 11:00 AM
Today I'm feeling vulnerable as we near the one-year mark of when I was told about my transfer from my school family of fourteen years to our sister school next door. I'm thinking a lot about who I am, where I belong, and what I'm meant to do. I'm also wrestling with the thoughts that get in the way, 
that are limiting my mobility as I bounce forward into the future. 


Ironically, I saw these parking spots when I dropped Joshua off for a French horn lesson this morning. And I laughed. Not because of their literal use, which I find the perfect example of empathy, compassion and kindness for people with physical limitations, but because of the metaphor they represent to me as I reflect more on the emotional challenges this year has brought with it. 

Maybe some of my sometimes reflections will resonate with you.

Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of self-doubt.
Sometimes I lack trust and nothing seems to anchor me.
Sometimes my errant beliefs get in my way.
Sometimes my anxiety finds me stuck in the past.
Sometimes my worries find me stressed about the future.

When these sometimes that threaten to limit my mobility happen,
 I think about to this quote by Karen Salmansohn.


Through my struggle, I keep coming back to the gift of a
 sidekick.
That's the friend who checks in on you.
The one who asks how you're doing.
The one who's okay with it if when you start to cry.
The one whose presence says, "You matter to me."

Sidekicks love unconditionally.
They extend grace lavishly and forgive over and over again.
They understand stuff about you
that you may not even understand yourself.
And they accept you for who you are, struggles and all.

So today I'm feeling vulnerable and overwhelmingly grateful
to the sidekicks who have been walking alongside of me this past year,
both literally and figuratively,
ready with a listening ear, a kind text or email, a smile, a hug.
{Even when I don't want a hug. Especially when I don't want a hug!}

For being strong when I'm not.
For telling me that that's okay.
For helping me love what is.
And let go of what no longer is.

For reminding me that there is a Higher Power.
And ensuring that I trust that it's all a part of His plan.
For helping me bloom where I'm planted.
And for seeing limitless possibilities instead of
limited mobility.

To my sidekicks:
You know who you are.
Please know how thankful I am.







Sunday, March 27, 2016

Transforming Change

Posted by Amazing People, on 1:15 PM
Today I'm reflecting on transformation and change as I watch my butterfly garden


 with wide-eyed wonder and awe.



















These guys started out as teeny, tiny caterpillars hatched from these itty-bitty eggs before they set out to devour these milkweed plants before our very eyes. Once they've had enough, they head off to find a safe place to turn their bodies into a J, wrap themselves up in a cloth-like silk substance and wait patiently for their amazing transformation.


Monarchs make change look pretty easy actually.
No hesitation.
No worry.
No fear.


And the struggle to get out of that safe chrysalis? No problem. That struggle is part of the deal, to get the blood flowing, so its wings will work and it can soar effortlessly to start the cycle all over again.


Ah, the circle of life.
Always growing.
Always changing.
Always moving on.

Check out these other miracles we couldn't help but notice this weekend, starting with this healthy plant growing out of a rock.


How is that even possible?
How about this cactus and the beehive next to it,
hanging on a cliff over the hiking trail?
Could the sky get any bluer?


And could these bluebonnets burst with any more beauty?


Springtime in Texas is a gift of transformation and change;


 enjoying it with family puts the fancy bow on top of the present.
What transforming change are you appreciating this beautiful Easter day?










Saturday, February 20, 2016

Super-Rare & Special

Posted by Amazing People, on 11:00 AM
Today, some reflections, sparked by this tiny treasure.



I have been a slacker about haven't been very faithful to started power walking again this morning, partly because I haven't been sleeping very well and I'm thinking that exercise will help me, but mostly because I hoped I'd see my first-grade friend, Jax, outside. You see, he's moving away this week so I was pretty sure there'd be a moving van in his drive. And, sure enough, there it was. 
And there he was. 
Outside. 
Playing with the neighbors. 
Happy as a kid can be.
When he saw me, he called out my name and came running into my arms. 
He wanted me to see the rare dinosaur on the U-haul,
and we read the description together, something about the dinosaur's footprints. 


So I asked him what footprints he was leaving in Friendswood, to which he answered "character tracks!" without hesitation. 

That's when he reached into his pocket to pull out the treasure that I'm holding in my hand at the top of this post.

Jax: Here, Mrs. Gruener, I have something special for you.
Me: Wow, thanks. I'll add it to my lego collection.
Jax: It's super-rare.
Me: Are you sure you want me to have it?
Jax: It's okay. I have thousands of them.

Super-rare.
And special.
Just like Jax.

And then, just like that, he was off to play with his friends again and I was back in power-walking mode. As I was giggling at the irony of my super-rare lego that Jax has thousands of, I felt tears welling up in my eyes. And, before I was even to the corner, I began to cry sob. 
Big dinosaur tears.
Real raw emotions to wrestle with and regulate.
Sad, because this is so-long for now to a super-rare superhero who has this unique ability to make an ordinary day extraordinary.
And hopeful, because the world is bound to be a better place
with special young people like Jax leading the way.

His teacher and my friend, Amy Boyer, brought Jax and his class to see me this past week, to say good-bye. Since Jax loves Henrietta {Westwood's hen puppet} the most, she made a super-rare appearance and they made a pinky promise to stay in touch.

Can't you just feel the love?


 Henrietta I didn't want to let go.

Because when someone super-rare and special comes along ... 

I'll miss you, Jax. Thank you for making
footprints worth following wherever you go.






Thursday, February 11, 2016

Thursday Treasure Trove

Posted by Amazing People, on 7:06 PM
Today, a few treasures.
First, my Dear Me guest post at Free Spirit.
What advice would you give to a younger version of yourself?


Why not take the Dear-Me Challenge?

Next, this growth-mindset maxim to remind us that 
anything is possible.


Then, from Daily Good: What If Schools Taught Kindness?

And from Edutopia: Three Videos on the Importance of Empathy

NPR's thoughtful post about What Kids Need From Grown-Ups

Play to Your Strengths from our friends at The 7 Mindsets

And from PBS, Teaching Frustration Tolerance

For comic relief, this Social Skills for Politicians clip

Finally, check out this passionate and innovative superhero:



E is for enthusiasm.
Don't you just love how excited he gets?

Talk about your Thursday treasure trove! 
Happy reading {and watching}.












Sunday, January 10, 2016

JOY Is A Choice

Posted by Amazing People, on 11:00 AM
Today marks the three-year anniversary of a horrible head-on collision that left me physically broken in two places and emotionally broken into many more pieces than that. Sometimes I feel like I'm still in recovery; other times I feel like I'm doing okay navigating my new normal. One of the lessons I learned through that whole ordeal is that JOY is a choice. Every day.


So today's post is a preview of a message I've been invited to share at our Community Prayer Breakfast first thing tomorrow morning. 

My message ~ Inspiring JOY ~ will be simple but powerful:

Look up. In a broken world, we will only heal and thrive when we fix our eyes on our higher power and draw our strength from that omniscient, omnipotent and omni-present Source.

Look around: Our world is a better place when we lead with a servant heart. What needs do we see in others and how can we fill them?

Look in: What can we do for ourselves so that we are fed physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually? We simply cannot serve from an empty vessel. 

There you have it:  J ~ O ~ Y. 
It's a choice. 
Every day. 

For homework, I'm going to encourage our youth to name three people in their lives whom they promise to reach out to when life gets dark and their joy is threatened, like what happened to me in that wreck three years ago.


Above all, I want them to know that they are surrounded by people who love and care about them. And that joy is a choice and always, always within reach. If you're in the Houston area, join us tomorrow morning at 6:30 am in the Friendswood High School cafeteria.







Thursday, December 31, 2015

Peace And Plenty

Posted by Amazing People, on 11:00 AM
As we say good-bye to 2015 and start our 2016 story,
I'm reflecting on my one little word for this past year:
harmony.
The first definition in the dictionary has to do with musical notes struck simultaneously to produce a pleasant sound; the second definition? 
Agreement or concord.

And as I reflect, I'd like to say that because I chose harmony as my focus word, that this year fell beautifully into place like the notes on a John Williams' score. But, alas, that wouldn't be painting an honest or accurate picture of how it went. In reality, a good part of my 2015 was out of harmony for me. Some of the discord was downright painful, but in hindsight, I'm convinced that those times served an important purpose, to stretch and grow me, and for that, I'm thankful.

And, just because God has a keen sense of humor, look what I spied in the butterfly garden at Bales earlier this week when I was showing my sister around. 


I'm sure it has been there every time I've sat out there with a student this semester; it just took me looking at my new surroundings again through a different lens to find harmony where it has been all along. 
Life's funny like that, isn't it?

We also got a sneak peek at the progress of our new mural.
Isn't it going to be a valuable addition to that hallway?

Click the picture for more information about Murals by Kathy.
So as we move forward into a new year, today I'm enjoying the memories of these past two weeks spent putting puzzles together ... 


... and finishing a furniture-restoration project,


of our hearts and our home filled with so much JOY . . .


that even our backyard birds are chirping with delight.


Warm reflections of walks and talks and card games and Hallmark movies, 
of eating in and eating out, of smiles and satisfaction.


Life feels harmonious again. And I'm filled with gratitude.
Our last night of extended-family holiday togetherness found us watching 
the UW Badgers battle to win the Holiday Bowl.


And as I write this, my Dad and his wife are on the road headed back home after a dozen days with us; my sister and her husband are en route home by air. My brother and his girlfriend have returned to Wisconsin, too, and the college kids will spend New Year's Eve with their friends in their perspective college towns. 

I'll sign off with this sign that my sister brought from my mom's kitchen for mine, my wish for you, dear reader, in 2016 and beyond.


Happy New Year.





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